12.23.2007

Good Times Again

I love it when you put a smile on my face
When I see the light in a dreary day
When I can be content in the chaos
When I can relax
When I can have fun again
Despite all the craziness
All the confusion and doubt
All the questions and uncertainty
You blind it all with the smile you put on my face
Thank you for your grace

12.02.2007

UGH

Aggravated and frustrated
Life isn’t what I expected
I’m tired and confused
The fruits of my labor are really hard to see right now
I want to see them so bad

You know sometimes when you just feel like a failure
You always remember the criticisms
You get ticked off for no reason
You’re just mad at the world

I don’t get what is happening
I thought I had everything together until this weekend
When I realized again that life isn’t going to be perfect
Things didn’t go as I had planned
And that is so frustrating and just makes me feel like a failure
I hate being like this
I don’t like the way I am today

I want this Christmas season to be filled with joy
My outlook on it now is quite the contrary
Filled with exhaustion
Possibly some tears
Confrontation
Fear

I am
Aggravated
Frustrated
Tired
Exhausted
Confused
Worn out
Lost
Isolated
A zombie today.

Oh God you have a plan
And I so want my plan to be yours
I have no clue what you are doing
And I am trying to trust
I am trying to breath deep in your nooma
I am trying to let you take control again
I am trying

To “succeed” I need your strength
To be happy again I need your joy
To be content I need your peace
To belong I need your love
To feel I need your fire
To be alive I need your spirit
To be here I need your breath
To be forgiven I need your grace
To be your hands and feet to the nations
I NEED YOU

I invite you to be a big God

MY BIG GOD

11.18.2007

thoughts via doodles

















Stain or Paint?

Today I was challenged with this question:
Are we letting the Word stain our heart so that we see the world through the Word or are we simply painting the word onto the outer walls of our hearts and hoping it won't crack when hardships come along?
I want to saturate my heart with the stain from the Word of my Savior
Will you join me?

9.06.2007

Laying Down

You are my God on the throne
And here I am at your feet
Laying down my hurt
For Your healing
My weakness
For You strength
My sin
For Your forgiveness
My emptiness
For Your love
My disbelief
For Your faith

3.09.2007

I need guidance
I need faith
I need direction

3.01.2007

My Heart Is Breaking

my heart is breaking
i don't know what to say
i don't know what to do
to get through to you
that God is the only way


He is the only one
that can give you patience
that can keep you strong
that can walk with you
through this storm


he's the only one
that knows whats going on
the only one that has a plan
that WILL get done


He wants to hear your cries
he wants to share your pain
this all is in his will
for the glory of his name


He wants you to surrender
he wants you to be free
he desires a sold out heart
that is in him complete


he wants to hear your cries
he wants to share your pain
this all is in his will
and for the glory of his name


Lay down the anger and the rage
Lay down the confusion and the pain
Lay it at the feet of the only one who
can take it all away and get you through
Give it to him
Completely


Because he wants to hear your cries
and he wants to share your pain
he died on that cross for YOU
and made a way so he could
hear your cries and share your pain
so he could walk beside you
in this pouring rain
He will give you strength, patience and love
He'll give you all the desires of your heart
But you've got to ask
you've got to ask to recieve


So breath deep in the Father's love
Surrender to him and don't give up
This is all in his will
for the glory of his name


My heart is breaking
i want you to see
that the only way out
that the only way to be free
is to surrender to HIM
the only true king
and live as a child
of THE risen KING

1.21.2007

Contradictory Mundaneness

Feeling so rested yet so overwhelmed
So encouraged and yet so down
Contradictions like this
They seem miles thick
And they hover without a sound

Get schoolwork done
Do college applications
Be the best at work
Be a leader for all
Have a life
Be sane
Make everyone proud
Let nobody down
Live like Christ
Be a shining light
These expectations
I want to fight

When did simply living life become so stressful
When did it begin to bog me down
Where did the joy go in waking up
To that new and fresh start every 24 hours?
When did all these expectations just make me want to quit
When did this “whatever” mentality creep in?
Where is that joy I found in every day
To go to school and help light the way

Life seems to be becoming so mundane
Yet its not, I promise, it just seems that way
Why can’t the joy I feel at times like those
That joy that keeps my heart beating
Keeping me on my toes
Can I find that joy I lost a while ago
Can it come back to me?

I want to be the person who always has a smile
The one that always encourages
Brightening peoples day
I used the be that person but now it’s seemed to slip away
So I pray, once again, to be that way
To be that light in my school from day to day
Mundaneness, I want, to be of the past
Joy is today
I welcome it in to stay