thinking... a lot

you know what else makes me think:
whenever i find something. that something that someone does to me that i really just hate. and then i realize i do the same thing to people i love. and it probably ticks them off the same way it ticks me off when someone does it to me. makes me want to scream until i realize i am no different. i am no exception. i too am at fault. i too am not perfect. it really drives you to change. to want to be changed. to surrender to the only one who can permanently change me. to make a concious effort to never do it again.

i really don't like those times when you realize something you don't like about yourself and you don't know how you can change for the better.
but i love it when the person who makes you realize those things you want to change is also the person who makes you want to be better, makes you want to get ahold of yourself and be a better you.
i love it when they reassure you that it is ok. that they are here for you no matter how long it takes for you to work through it.
i love knowing that the person that knows me the best and could point out all the flaws i can't see: they love me anyways.
and what's even more comforting than that. what i love knowing more than that.
i've got a heavenly father who loves me even more.
dude that SOOO blows my mind