Expectant

My prayer for you (My Psalm 134)

2011-02-16T22:59:00.002-06:00

May you find His face ever more endearing.
May you keep your heart gazed steadfast at Abba Father.
And may you always, always talk to him like a best friend.

My Psalm 133

2011-02-16T22:56:00.001-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

How encouraging it is

When brothers love on

their sisters!

It is like laughter in the sunshine

And hot chocolate during a snowfall.

It is like bones healing after a break.

What was mean to be together

Has been restored

For the Lord is indeed good

And he adores his children!

My Psalm 132:110-18

2011-02-16T22:53:00.003-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

God gave his word to you

Don’t you dare forget that.

There is no room for questioning and doubt.

Certainty has been given to you.

Claim it.

Walk in it.

The Lord our God is sovereign

A gracious father

Just waiting to help his kids

Blessing abounding awaits

If we just hold out for his perfect timing.

Beloved, he loves you

And he knows your heart.

Sing your heart out in the secret place

And wait for him to open the door

So you can walk through to sing with all the others.

My Psalm 132:1-10

2011-02-16T22:53:00.001-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

Oh Papa, how I long to sing

To proclaim Your name

With many melodies and tunes

How I long to sing

Without protest from my throat.

I know, at least, I think I know,

That you are going to bring it about soon,

But impatience is creeping in.

And I’m wondering why I’m not being noticed.

“Because right now, you only

desire to be on stage. I want

you before the throne no

matter what that looks like.”

My Psalm 131

2011-02-04T15:50:00.001-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

Papa, my head is not huge and my hands do not squander.

My heart is not prideful and my eyes don’t wander.

I try and only do what I see you doing.

And at the end of the day

When all of me has bee spent

I tug on your hand

And ask for a bedtime story.

For all I want to do now

Is hear your voice

And feel you near

As these tired eyes

Begin to

Droop.

My Psalm 130

2011-02-04T15:48:00.001-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

Out of the darkness I whisper to You

Praying You’ll hear my voice

And listen to my please

Despite the raspy voice I have

From crying out to other things.

Here I will wait for you Lord,

No matter what tempts me to move.

In your strength, I will wait patiently.

I will wait as a flower waits for the first spring rain,

Enabling it to bloom and grow again.

I eagerly wait for you Lord,

Knowing You are coming

With redemption and healing to give.

My Psalm 129

2011-02-04T15:47:00.000-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

He has bereted me since childhood.

Let those conquerors say

Yes, he has hounded us for ages,

But he has not overtaken us.

The victory is not his.

Yahweh is watching over us.

He has never let his grace depart from us.

May all whom he uses realize such.

Let them snap out of it.

Let all who seek to destroy me fall

Harder and longer than they can imagine

May him who sits in Sheol

Receive his due punishment.

And may we as more than conquerors

Forever claim our victory through Christ.

My Psalm 128

2011-01-26T16:38:00.001-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

You who seek my face,

Remember that you are indeed blessed.

The journey is just as important as the destination.

Blessings abounding will accompany those

Who keep pressing forward.

When blessings come, though,

Do not let them go to your head.

Instead, may they remind you of your Belovedness

And urge you to remind others of their’s as well.

My Psalm 127

2011-01-26T16:35:00.003-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

Only if the Lord speaks over this

Will it ever be profitable.

If He does not speak over it and bless it,

Why waste energy trying when we know it will fail?

Without His blessing and assurance

Everything in this life is meaningless.

Friends are most definitely a blessing from above.

Much like rain to dry and cracked soil,

They encourage and build up,

Filling our lives with laughter and fond memories.

Truly blessed is the person

Who cherishes them deeply

And cares for them with diligence.

My Psalm 126

2011-01-20T12:02:00.002-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

I still can’t believe that He did that.

He surprised me beyond my wildest dreams.

I know I don’t deserve it

And he quietly reminds me

That it was through faith and patience

That this dream was formed

And waited on

And continues to be waited on

After that glorious glimmer of promise and hope

And blessings abounding to come.

Oh Papa, that you would bring me there again,

That fears may be doused once more

With your healing stream,

That those who’ve seemingly sown

And waited and remained faithful in vain,

Would finally see the fruits of their labor

Even if just enough

To sustain us

Through this next season of waiting, praying, watching and yearning

For a glimpse of Your face.

My Psalm 125

2011-01-20T11:59:00.001-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

Those who trust in the Lord

Are like the heavens,

The Lord is always dwelling there,

Watching over us,

Protecting us from harm,

Comforting his children in his loving arms.

Evil cannot win with us

For the victory is already won

Through Christ who claimed us before we were born.

He will deal justly with all

And will remember always

Those children who call on His name to be saved.

My Psalm 124

2011-01-16T19:53:00.002-06:00

Calling us his own.

If he had not come to our rescue,

The alarms wouldn’t have awakened us;

We would have slept through his feast.

The world would have suffocated us,

Catching us in its lies.

Time would have kept ticking,

Leaving us standing aimlessly by.

Praise be to our Prince Charming

Who saved us all from such destitution

And will gladly pull us out again when we stumble.

He has helped us escape

The jaws of death,

The sparkling lure of sin,

And the wayward glance of the temptress.

Praise be to God for this indescribably gift.

Praise be to Him who is mighty to save.

He is our rescuer.

My Psalm 123

2011-01-14T09:28:00.003-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

From down here on the floor
I lift my eyes to you,
gazing headlong into your welcoming arms.

A daughter in need of wisdom
A friend in need of guidance
I look to you,
waiting for your response.

Show me the favor you have placed
on my life and on theirs.
Show us your glory once again,
that we might stand in awe.

Life has thrown, in fact, is continuing to throw us
curve balls of frustration and confusion.
It tries to swallow us
and constantly throw us off track.

Steady us. Right us Papa.

My Psalm 122

2011-01-14T09:25:00.002-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

I was filled with glorious joy
when asked to join you in the house of the LORD.
To be at this threshold again,
stepping into His tangible presence.

This town built around tradition and love,
where people fellowship on downtown streets
and laughter is heard throughout the square.

I pray for more honesty and love,
for peace to replace the strife,
that all those who come here
may be blessed and leave changed,
ready to spread what they've found.

This town has taught me love and identity
and because of the people here and the God we serve,
I bless you all as He gives you Peace.

My Psalm 121

2011-01-05T16:08:00.003-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

I raise my head to that not so distant future
wondering where on earth You'll show up and when.
I know you are coming
and help You are longing to give me
because You are my great Abba Father.

You don't let me slip up or worry for long
because I cry out and You are there
right about me
attached to that looming wing
that's been protecting me this whole time.

You don't doze off or forget where You're sending me.
You are watching me like a hawk
making sure I am hearing your voice clearly
correcting me in love when I don't.

You've got me safe
Yahweh, My Protector, You are good.

My Psalm 120

2011-01-05T16:03:00.003-06:00

---I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.---

In my frustration and confusion
I pleaded with the LORD and he answered me.

"I am sick of two-faced people
who lie straight to my face
and have become someone different
than the friend I once knew."

They don't see what they're doing
to themselves or to others
and I don't know how to show them
in love without being hypocritical.

Am I doomed to forever be in this limbo land?
A completely new person
surrounded by frustrating people stuck in pits
with blinders on their eyes.
I want them to realize and see again.
Bring renewal and take the scales off their eyes.

a new journey

2011-01-05T15:59:00.004-06:00

This week begins a new phase, a new bible study, and a new opportunity. This bible study takes me through the Psalms of Ascent, Psalms 120 - 134. Every other day I write my own rendition of each psalm. I have picked this study based on a recommendation from a fabulous friend whom I highly admire and look up to. I am eager to see what God teaches me through this journey but also to see what songs he gives me. Part of my new years resolution is to start writing my own songs and let me just tell you, even though it is only january 5th, that journey has begun and its been awesome to see the words that start floating through my head and wont' go away till i write them down. I felt like I was supposed to share these personal renditions of the Psalms of Ascent on here, and we'll see what else gets to see the light of day throughout the journey as well!

I ask that if you are reading these, that you go and read the original psalm for yourself, before you read my rendition, and let the words of your Maker soak deep into your bones.

a new song

2010-10-04T15:54:00.002-05:00

You alone are good
You are high above it all
Breathe your life & joy
into this barren land

I know you can
I know you will
Father come now
closer
I believe. i believe.

Invade me here
tear down these walls
Lord I am scared
but you always catch my fall.

love me. lead me.
guide me home.
show me how to live
the live i have never known

lead me.
breathe in me.
love me.
romance me again.

my answer is yes.

Expectant

2009-04-17T21:21:00.006-05:00

Be expectant. I can count on two hands the times I have been truly expectant and looking for where God was moving. Most of those instances were summer and winter camps with my youth group where I expected God to move and it was just a matter of waiting for whenever he decided to show himself.
Recently though, God has really been teaching me to live every day expectant of what he has in store: to be expectant during the mundane, day-to-day happenings in my life along with those times when I can see him everywhere.

I thought I had my life at least a little bit figured out. I thought I knew what career I wanted to pursue and the kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up, how many kids I wanted to have and at times, even, who I was going to marry. This past year has been a year of transition and a year of planning as I left high school life and moved up to college life. It was a year of looking toward the future and it seemed that by the time I entered college, I had to have everything figured out. I knew in my head that I had a few years to decide my major and what I would do after college but it seemed that if I didn’t have it figured out now that I would be wasting a bunch of time in college. I was so uptight about trying to figure out my life and my future.

God began to break me of that this past semester. It was a long and hard process with a lot of crying, questioning and searching, but oh am I better because of it! God completely rocked my world and turned it upside down over these past few months. He showed me that I don’t need to have my life planned out and He knew I wasn’t going to be the only one to struggle with worrying about my future.

In Matthew 6:34 He says “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I honestly took that verse as “don’t worry about tomorrow,” but it honestly never hit me until recently that I wasn’t supposed to worry about the future as a whole or try and plan for the future. I tried that and it took a lot of brokenness to get my heart back to a place where I was looking to God for my future plans. I really love how Matthew 6:34 reads in The Message.
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
Give your ENTIRE attention to what God is doing RIGHT NOW, not what he was doing yesterday, not what you think he is going to do ten years down the road or even two days down the road. When our entire focus is on God in this moment, He can move in mighty ways. Our world has perverted the way we think and programmed us to look to the future as the only exciting thing, the only thing worth looking forward too. God has showed me that the here and now is exciting too, that he has so much to show me and those around me right now if we would just open our eyes and be intent on keeping our gaze on him each moment, through the mundane and the extra exciting.

Train yourself to give your full attention to God but also, don’t settle for what our little minds can conjure up for our future. God has plans in mind for you that are so much bigger than you could ever dream. We often settle for our plans and ask God to bless those plans when Proverbs 16:3 says to “commit your WORK to the Lord and your PLANS will be established.” Too often we find ourselves reversing that verse: we commit all of our plans to him and then ask him to bless them. What we should be doing is committing everything we do to the Lord so that He can have full range to establish the plans for our life because we know that those plans will be the best for us. Our all-knowing God wants to bless us. We just have to learn to let him.

Be EXPECTANT of what God is going to do in your life. Keep your eyes pealed for signs of Him. Expect him to show up in those parts of your life that you see as mundane and ordinary. When you are expectant of God, He is going to show up: he rewards those who earnestly seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Search after God in earnest. Let him guide you. Let him guide your future. Let him be your God. Be expectant of what He has in store. www.wordle.net

Unexpected Blessings

2009-04-13T17:43:00.001-05:00

HOLY MOLY! God is so amazing. I love it when you get blessings from Him that you completely don’t expect. I had been praying, but not necessarily for this specific thing. I had been praying more general prayers and had honestly slacked off this past week with those prayers. I went to church on Saturday night for the Easter service and was just planning on going back on Sunday to see people and then just go get some homework done. It was going to be a Sunday like any other. First off though, the service Saturday night was actually really good which I haven’t felt a long time while I was at home. I had the blessing of seeing a lot of friends that I don’t normally get to see and just had some really encouraging conversations with people. Sunday started just like any other Sunday except this one began with a headache and an iffy stomach. A couple texts from a friend completely turned my day upside down… in a good way! The best part was that they were completely unexpected but a blatant answer to prayer. Instead of seeing a lot of friends and getting homework done, I got the chance to hang out with an old friend and talk of life and our struggles, our victories and our battles, where we had been and where we were at. I got to delve into the word and just get excited about what God was teaching both of us. This complete surprise blessing from God swept me off of my feet and left me more in awe than before. Our God is so amazing! My Abba rocks my world! He has gotten me through some tough times this year and I am forever thankful! He has a bigger plan that he chooses to reveal to me in only snippets which is aggravating sometimes as I look back and wonder why I had to go through all of that to get to this place. But I like this place. I love falling in love with God all over again. I am content with where I am at but ever so eager to move forward into a deeper place with my Abba. I cannot wait to see where he leads this next month and then on into the summer. It has been a week filled with unexpected blessings and surprises and I am just here to say that our God has RISEN. He has conquered the grave and He is my Savior! I am here to live for Him and follow Him wherever He may lead! The future is uncertain but I am ready for the journey.

2009-03-08T17:13:00.003-05:00

Surrender daily.
this idea is becoming more and more real to me every day. As each new day is covered in mystery.
i am looking forward to it. i am expectant but not over zealous. i am waiting.
i am savoring every moment. catching up on friendships i have let fade.
growing closer to my Savior and learning more about myself.
i am learning not to fear the unknown.
i am learning to be still.
i am learning to trust wholeheartedly.
i am learning to hand over all my dreams to the one who has the whole picture in mind.
i am learning to take things one day at a time.
i am learning to not worry.
i am learning to walk in Him
to be purposeful
to be loving
to be a light.
i am expectant
i am open

2008-09-06T17:45:00.001-05:00

Following God gets hard here:
when He asks you to let go of one you hold so dear
and He doesn't tell you when you get to have that person back

Who Am I?

2008-08-24T18:02:00.001-05:00

Who am i
And why did you choose me?
Such a wretch I was
Such a wretch I am
And still you want me?
That is confusing
And so unworldly
Who am i
And why do you love me?
Nothing I have done
Deserves what you give
Nothing I will do
Deserves anything you have to offer me
Who am i
And how do I know
Who I am supposed to be?
How do I know what is me
And what is satan working in me?
How do I know what is me
And what is others in me?
How do I know what is me
And how do I know for sure?
Finding me is daunting
Finding me is hard
Finding me is what I want
And finding me is where I need the most help

2008-05-12T15:49:00.005-05:00

bring revival here
to Your people
with hands lifted high
we cry
you surpass all we know
you're divine
bring renewal
to your weary people
for without you
we disappear for
we are nothing
without you
without your love
we have no meaning.
without your grace
we have no hope.
we ask to be truly desperate
for the only one who gives us life
we were made to bless you
you are the object of our worship
our praise sits at your feet
as an offering
our bodies lay limp
waiting for your life-giving breath
we long for your breath of life
we are desperate
to see our King
our Savior, our ABBA

thinking... a lot

2008-02-24T19:57:00.002-06:00

you know what else makes me think:
whenever i find something. that something that someone does to me that i really just hate. and then i realize i do the same thing to people i love. and it probably ticks them off the same way it ticks me off when someone does it to me. makes me want to scream until i realize i am no different. i am no exception. i too am at fault. i too am not perfect. it really drives you to change. to want to be changed. to surrender to the only one who can permanently change me. to make a concious effort to never do it again.

2008-02-24T19:44:00.003-06:00

i really don't like those times when you realize something you don't like about yourself and you don't know how you can change for the better.
but i love it when the person who makes you realize those things you want to change is also the person who makes you want to be better, makes you want to get ahold of yourself and be a better you.
i love it when they reassure you that it is ok. that they are here for you no matter how long it takes for you to work through it.
i love knowing that the person that knows me the best and could point out all the flaws i can't see: they love me anyways.
and what's even more comforting than that. what i love knowing more than that.
i've got a heavenly father who loves me even more.
dude that SOOO blows my mind

2008-01-06T22:08:00.000-06:00

please don't expect me to be perfect

Good Times Again

2007-12-23T22:22:00.001-06:00

I love it when you put a smile on my face
When I see the light in a dreary day
When I can be content in the chaos
When I can relax
When I can have fun again
Despite all the craziness
All the confusion and doubt
All the questions and uncertainty
You blind it all with the smile you put on my face
Thank you for your grace

UGH

2007-12-02T14:32:00.002-06:00

Aggravated and frustrated
Life isn’t what I expected
I’m tired and confused
The fruits of my labor are really hard to see right now
I want to see them so bad

You know sometimes when you just feel like a failure
You always remember the criticisms
You get ticked off for no reason
You’re just mad at the world

I don’t get what is happening
I thought I had everything together until this weekend
When I realized again that life isn’t going to be perfect
Things didn’t go as I had planned
And that is so frustrating and just makes me feel like a failure
I hate being like this
I don’t like the way I am today

I want this Christmas season to be filled with joy
My outlook on it now is quite the contrary
Filled with exhaustion
Possibly some tears
Confrontation
Fear

I am
Aggravated
Frustrated
Tired
Exhausted
Confused
Worn out
Lost
Isolated
A zombie today.

Oh God you have a plan
And I so want my plan to be yours
I have no clue what you are doing
And I am trying to trust
I am trying to breath deep in your nooma
I am trying to let you take control again
I am trying

To “succeed” I need your strength
To be happy again I need your joy
To be content I need your peace
To belong I need your love
To feel I need your fire
To be alive I need your spirit
To be here I need your breath
To be forgiven I need your grace
To be your hands and feet to the nations
I NEED YOU

I invite you to be a big God

MY BIG GOD

thoughts via doodles

2007-11-18T21:20:00.000-06:00

Stain or Paint?

2007-11-18T21:10:00.000-06:00

Today I was challenged with this question:

Are we letting the Word stain our heart so that we see the world through the Word or are we simply painting the word onto the outer walls of our hearts and hoping it won't crack when hardships come along?

I want to saturate my heart with the stain from the Word of my Savior

Will you join me?

Laying Down

2007-09-06T21:17:00.000-05:00

You are my God on the throne

And here I am at your feet

Laying down my hurt

For Your healing

My weakness

For You strength

My sin

For Your forgiveness

My emptiness

For Your love

My disbelief

For Your faith

2007-03-09T20:13:00.000-06:00

I need guidance

I need faith

I need direction

My Heart Is Breaking

2007-03-01T20:52:00.000-06:00

my heart is breaking
i don't know what to say
i don't know what to do
to get through to you
that God is the only way

He is the only one
that can give you patience
that can keep you strong
that can walk with you
through this storm

he's the only one
that knows whats going on
the only one that has a plan
that WILL get done

He wants to hear your cries
he wants to share your pain
this all is in his will
for the glory of his name

He wants you to surrender
he wants you to be free
he desires a sold out heart
that is in him complete

he wants to hear your cries
he wants to share your pain
this all is in his will
and for the glory of his name

Lay down the anger and the rage
Lay down the confusion and the pain
Lay it at the feet of the only one who
can take it all away and get you through
Give it to him
Completely

Because he wants to hear your cries
and he wants to share your pain
he died on that cross for YOU
and made a way so he could
hear your cries and share your pain
so he could walk beside you
in this pouring rain
He will give you strength, patience and love
He'll give you all the desires of your heart
But you've got to ask
you've got to ask to recieve

So breath deep in the Father's love
Surrender to him and don't give up
This is all in his will
for the glory of his name

My heart is breaking
i want you to see
that the only way out
that the only way to be free
is to surrender to HIM
the only true king
and live as a child
of THE risen KING

Contradictory Mundaneness

2007-01-21T20:05:00.001-06:00

Feeling so rested yet so overwhelmed
So encouraged and yet so down
Contradictions like this
They seem miles thick
And they hover without a sound

Get schoolwork done
Do college applications
Be the best at work
Be a leader for all
Have a life
Be sane
Make everyone proud
Let nobody down
Live like Christ
Be a shining light
These expectations
I want to fight

When did simply living life become so stressful
When did it begin to bog me down
Where did the joy go in waking up
To that new and fresh start every 24 hours?
When did all these expectations just make me want to quit
When did this “whatever” mentality creep in?
Where is that joy I found in every day
To go to school and help light the way

Life seems to be becoming so mundane
Yet its not, I promise, it just seems that way
Why can’t the joy I feel at times like those
That joy that keeps my heart beating
Keeping me on my toes
Can I find that joy I lost a while ago
Can it come back to me?

I want to be the person who always has a smile
The one that always encourages
Brightening peoples day
I used the be that person but now it’s seemed to slip away
So I pray, once again, to be that way
To be that light in my school from day to day
Mundaneness, I want, to be of the past
Joy is today
I welcome it in to stay

and all i can say is thank you

2006-12-07T17:13:00.000-06:00

I love it how I can always count on You
To be there when I need you most
Even if that’s the only time I come
Your hand is always outstretched
You’re there with open arms
And all I can say is thank you

I love it how You’re right there to guide me
To show me the way down life’s path
To keep me out of the thorny bushes
And on this well traveled path
And all I can say is thank you

I love it how you love me unconditionally
No matter what I do
Your love never fails
After my biggest mistakes
You’re there with open arms
And all I can say is thank you

I love it how your timing is so perfect
When I’m about to break, I get help
When I’m crying, comfort
When I’m depressed, encouragement
When I’m lost, guidance
And all I can say is thank you

I love it how your plan always prevails above mine
No matter how hard I try
My plan is always secondary to yours
Always bringing glory to Your name
Your will is always for the better
And all I can say is thank you

Thank You for everything
For Your gifts and your time
For putting your will so high above mine
For guiding me, not letting me get lost
For replacing Your love for life's dross
For being there when I needed You most

For Your outstretched arms

For all the love, joy, peace and patience

All the kindness, goodness, and faithfullness

All the gentleness and self-control

And all I can say is thank you

Fork in the Road

2006-11-26T16:30:00.000-06:00

I didn’t ask Your permission
Now I’m really regretting it
Feeling horribly in the wrong
And not knowing how to fix it

Plunge myself into misery for punishment
Or do You have another plan?
Was this simply a wake up call?
Or is this not meant to be?

Your will I want done
Mine being so feeble and changing
Guide this lost child
On Your path everlasting

Differentiate Your voice from mine
Your will from my desires
You see the big picture
Me, only a pixel

Faith being shaky
Asking for clarity
Because I’m lost in this pit of confusion
The light, I cannot see

Second-guessing everything
Please meet me here
The difference between my desires and Yours
I’m asking to see painfully clear

I know You’re alongside me
You caught me when I did fall
Though stubborn I was
Not thinking at all

Forgiveness and Guidance
I’m asking above all
At a fork in the road
I stand… asking

Will you lead me Abba?

Puddle (College)

2006-11-15T15:50:00.000-06:00

Lost and alone
Thrown out to sea
To fend for myself
In all this uncertainty

Fighting the current
My body, it strains
To get out of this whirlwind
Things all look the same

The rain coming down
Skewing my view
I can’t see a way out
I can’t pull through

Appearing in front of me
He calls my name
Holding out his hand
In this pouring rain

Taking it, I trust
He knows the way
Through this whirlwind of doubt
I’m so afraid

You prevail and step through the veil
That has clouded my view
That has clouded the trail

Whirlwind behind
Now with Your hand in mine
I see it was only a puddle
On the street of time

Thank You

2006-11-05T17:39:00.000-06:00

Thanks for being there
To make me smile
When the day turned out
A little sour
For making me feel special
When i felt nowhere near
deserving of the love
from someone so dear
For all the smiles
And concerned looks from you
I whisper one big
THANK YOU!

Life has a meaning

2006-11-05T17:37:00.001-06:00

Life has a meaning
And everything in it
What was today’s purpose?
Why’d I even live it??
To grow and to learn for trials to come
To love and to see the beauty of grace unfold
To see friends surround me in time of need
To feel loved and accepted and everything in between
To know that He cares about each little thing
To know I’m a daughter of the one true King.
To know there’s a purpose in each and every day
To know I’m here for a reason, there is reason to stay
To know that my life is part of a big plan
To further His kingdom to far away lands
To get glimpses of my Father
The one unseen
And know that he’s watching
His little daughter, his princess
That’s me!

Boredom with a Purpose

2006-11-05T17:37:00.000-06:00

Bored out of my mind
I’m trying to rhyme
To get that mind
Off of seemingly pointless time
Wondering about life and love
About poetry seemingly sent from above
About long weeks ahead
Endless homework in sight
About these tired little eyes
Wanting to sleep tonight
About journals and flowers
Birthdays to come
Christmas and New Years
And Holiday “fun”
About this writing I’m doing
Seeming to come so naturally
About how these random thoughts
Running through this mind of mine
Could somehow come out
With such rhythm and rhyme
About Myspace and IM
And email out the wazoo
From girls and from boys
Some close and some so far
Each one bringing meaning
To this not so lonesome girl
Wondering about life
How’d I get so lucky?
With a mom, dad, and sister
I couldn’t think to leave
With a heavenly father
Lavishing me with love
Every minute and second
I feel his touch from above
Now I know
That this seemingly pointless time
Has done more than make a little rhyme
It has helped me to see
How lucky I be
And I thank Thee
For the time You’ve given me.

Dry and Barren

2006-10-19T17:36:00.000-05:00

Worn out and consumed
By things that don’t matter
Burnt out on school
Burnt out on always giving, giving, giving
And never receiving anything back
Giving all my encouragement
Giving all my time and energy
Where are the results of my work?
The fruits of my labor?

Worn out and consumed
By things that don’t matter
Where do I go from here?
I’m lost, feeling all ALONE

Trying so hard to be perfect and its not working
And its not required, I know
But I can’t seem to convince myself of that

Relying on encouragement
Those that are random, short
But mean the world
Trying to rely on my Father
And stay strong but it’s so hard.

My soul’s dry and barren
Rescue me…
Fill me Father
PLEASE

“Encouragement is the OXYGEN of the soul” ~John Maxwell

Can I Take My Mask Off Now?

2006-10-02T17:36:00.000-05:00

For so long I’ve seen others masks
And frowned upon them for their fronts
But now as I look in the mirror I can see
That I’ve had one all along.

Can I take my mask off now?
Will they laugh and scorn when they see?
Or will they see the REAL me
And the beauty that my Father sees?

This mask of happiness and joy and glee
Of Perfection, Bliss, and harmony
It’s been here for so long
I’ve almost come to see it as real
But this mask is now slowly peeling away
And showing through is all the hurt
The pain, the sorrow, the stress
The weariness, the fear, the confusion.

No longer do they see my flawless mask
No longer do they think everything’s all right
No longer do they think I’ve got it all together
For my mask is slowly peeling away
And showing through is the REAL me.

Hoping they’ll accept my faults and my flaws
I rip off the mask that has grown so hard and so unreal
Slowly I peel back all the fronts I’ve put up over all these years
Am I afraid of their reactions?
Yeah, but I know one thing and that is
That those ones that do accept all my defects
Are those ones that will catch me when I fall.

I’m no longer ashamed to admit
That I don’t have it all together
That I’m broken and weary
With no strength to carry on.
So here I surrender, mask and all
To my Savior, my King, my Lord of ALL

GNC (Global Night Commute)

2006-06-05T17:34:00.000-05:00

Walking…
Who ever thought it could change
A life…
A school…
A city…
A nation…
A world.
That such an impact could be made
That once, is for the better
Not the worse.
That such a mindless thing
Done everyday
Could impact lives in a whole new way.
Who ever thought…
Not me.

Those that thought were
Courageous…
Brave…
Bold….
Out of the box…
Out of their minds…
Crazy enough to think they could change the world
And they did.
And it all started with three lives and a passion
Ignited by the unseen, the invisible.

Walking…
Who ever thought it could save lives
Lives of those invisible to the world
But seen by the eyes of the crazy ones
The ones crazy enough to think they could change the world.